tammytoes

it’s hard to follow a poem about pussies, so I really haven’t felt like trying much this past week.

Tonight was my last practice before the bout in KC. I’ve skated so much this month that I feel like I don’t have any padding left on the bottoms of my feet. Derby girls have ugly feet, make no mistake.

Thoughts, feelings, and conversations have been less than coherent this past week – I’ve moved from desk to rink to bed and back again. School started today and it’s nice to see staff off to their classes and strange to not have any of my own.

Yesterday, I was thinking a lot about Thurston Moore’s hair. I guess I could write about it, but first I’m curious if any of you fair readers have thoughts on his hair?

Summer has been short and frenzied. Too much work and I’ve known it all along. I look forward to the first signs of Fall and some stopping time to accompany it. I’ve learned so much about myself this past year – my learning curve seems to move in seasonal rhythms.

I was watching an interview with Mike Watt this weekend and he talked about how many young kids talk to him about their disappointment with their birth dates, about the nostalgia for a past that doesn’t rightfully belong to them. Mike Watt says that we can’t all be born at the same time. Circumstances just dictate that. The important thing is for kids to honor the time they’re in, to figure out what to do with the here and now. Econo wisdom and we could use more of it.

End random transmission for the night.

Notes for a Sermon on the Mount
- Nin Andrews

1. Pussies are not gods. They are created beings.
2. Unlike god, they do not always exist.
3. Dignified, majestic, intelligent, we must attend to them nonetheless.
4. Like all spiritual beings, pussies cannot be seen with the human eye at just any time of the day.
5. Pussies represent both the visible and the invisible, the sacred and the profane.
6. They appear to be nowhere and everywhere at once. To be personal and impersonal, human and divine.
7. In the occult story of Adam and Eve, God placed a sword-bearing angel at the entrance of the divine pussy to keep the unwary from ever returning.
8. Revelations describe them as being “robed in a cloud with a rainbow over their heads.”
9. Many times a pussy has taken on the form of an actual woman and is sometimes mistakenly thought to have a human spirit.
10. One must not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing so, one might entertain a pussy without even knowing it.
11. Always remember: one must never pray to pussies. Or other golden heifers.
12. Nor should one ask God to send forth a pussy to help minister to one’s soul.
13. A pussy must come of its own accord. For thus is the way of the pussy, and of the alpha and omega.

“No, really, think about it. Think about the little mermaid, who traded in her tail for love, got two legs and two feet, and every step was like walking on knives. And where did it get her? That’s a rhetorical question, of course. Then there’s the girl who put on the beautiful red dancing shoes. The woodsman had to chop her feet off with an axe.

There are Cinderella’s two stepsisters, who cut off their own toes, and Snow White’s stepmother, who danced to death in red-hot iron slippers. The Goose Girl’s maid got rolled down a hill in a barrel studded with nails. Travel is hard on the single woman. There was this one woman who walked east of the sun and then west of the moon, looking for her lover, who had left her because she spilled tallow on his nightshirt. She wore out at least one pair of perfectly good iron shoes before she found him. Take our word for it, he wasn’t worth it. What do you think happened when she forgot to put the fabric softener in the dryer? Laundry is hard, travel is harder. You deserve a vacation, but of course you’re a little wary. You’ve read the fairy tales. We’ve been there, we know.

That’s why we here at Snow Queen Tours have put together a luxurious but affordable package for you, guaranteed to be easy on the feet and on the budget. See the world by goosedrawn sleigh, experience the archetypal forest, the winter wonderland; chat with real live talking animals (please don’t feed them). Our accommodations are three-star: sleep on comfortable, guaranteed pea-free box-spring mattresses; eat meals prepared by world-class chefs. Our tour guides are friendly, knowledgeable, well-traveled, trained by the Snow Queen herself. They know first aid, how to live off the land; they speak three languages fluently.

Special discount for older sisters, stepsisters, stepmothers, wicked witches, crones, hags, princesses who have kissed frogs without realizing what they were getting into, etc.”

- Kelly Link, “Travels with the Snow Queen”

I discovered Kelly Link while eating Pho last week and I can’t believe I’m years behind in reading her stories. Lucky for all of us, her collection ‘Stranger Things Happen’ is available for free download here. Go there and read – it will be the best download you’ve had in a while.

I present to you the baddest flight attendants on four wheels…the travel team of the Denver Roller Dolls: the Mile High Club.

We’re all about the love.